Things definitely take a turn toward improvement in the 90s. The stinky cheese stench of commercial abuse lingers, but is fading. Midnight movie nerds like Tim Burton and Joss Whedon are on the rise, exorcising and exercising their demons, as it were, and changing flow of the mainstream.
Featuring: Frankenstein's Monster, Ghosts, Aliens-but-definitely-not-"Aliens"-aliens, Zombies, Mr Hyde, Jack the Ripper & more
The first Waxwork was a pleasant surprise for me, but Waxwork II was an outright delight. While relying on an even more contrived framing device, the segments that made up the body of the film were even better tributes to beloved films, and the laugh-out-loud moments made it a rollicking good time.
Picking up immediately after the first movie, albeit with a new actress in the role of Sarah, the sequel wastes no time killing off her stepfather, courtesy of a zombie hand which escaped from the waxwork. She's blamed for the death and stands trial for murder. Having sent the homicidal hand down the garbage disposal, she's hard pressed to back up her story. Before the trial is finished, she and Mark return to his uncle's home to find some kind of Hail Mary play to prove her story. This leads them to a portal through time, and they spend most of the movie looking for evidence and fighting evil in various film tributes (mostly horror based) and trying to find their way back home. The homages here are more overt, and more on the nose than those in Waxwork, touching on Frankenstein, The Haunting, Alien, Legend and other sword & sorcery films, with brief trips through even more. As in the first, the effects range from surprisingly good to definitely not but that's okay, particularly for the kind of movie it is. Once again, we're treated to some fabulous character actors in the supporting cast including Bruce Campbell, Jeffery Combs, Marina Sirtis, Patrick Macnee, Juliet Mills and David frickin' Carradine, among others. Everyone seemed to have a lot of fun making this movie, and I had a hell of a lot of fun watching it.
Though commonly attributed to Tim Burton, he neither directed nor wrote the screenplay for the much beloved film. Burton wrote the short story upon which it was based. I find this curious, since it's regarded by many as the high point of his career. In my more esoteric moments, I might even wonder if this mightn't explain his creative flailing and repeated attempts to recapture something that was never fully his to begin with.
But I digress. Jack Skellington is the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, a kind of anthropomorphism of the Halloween spirit. Amid an existential crisis of sorts, he discovers that there are other towns, each representing other holidays, and sets his sights on taking over Christmas. He enlists all the citizens of Halloween Town, which represent all sorts of fearful images associated with the holiday, or just fear and weirdness. Jack himself is a skeleton. His beloved Sally is a patchwork girl (a la Frankenstein's monster). There are witches, corpses, demons, vampires, mummies and so on; taking many of the classic tropes under the "Universal Monsters" umbrella and mixing them in with all manner of spooky night-bumpers. Now, more than 20 years on, I feel that it's safe to say that this is not only a classic, but it's quite possibly the truest classic of all the monster mash-ups. It just now occurs to me that stop-motion animation doesn't age the same way that CGI does, assuring that the Nightmare Before Christmas will continue to look as fresh as the day it... died. Mwahaha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa....
Featuring: Godzilla, Godzilla Jr, Rodan, Mechagodzilla & Mecha King Ghidorah
Despite the Roman numeral two in the title, Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II is not a sequel to 1974's Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla. It does, however, function as a sequel to 1991's completely senseless yet smashingly successful Godzilla vs King Ghidorah, so go fig. That's how Godzilla's intermittent and resettable continuity works.
The original Mechagodzilla was created by aliens and posed as Godzilla to lead their invasion plans. The new one was created (using technology salvaged from the Mecha King Ghidorah from the future) by the UN-backed G-Force to end the global threat posed by Godzilla. Don't worry, the most convoluted part of this film is when they refer back to GvKG.
A team of scientists is investigating a radioactive island where they discover a giant egg when Rodan shows up (called "Radon" here, which is evidently the monster's actual name, before Americans goofed it up). Godzilla arrives not long after and he and Rodan get into a pretty brutal fight while the scientists escape with the egg. Back in Tokyo, the egg eventually hatches, revealing not a pteranodon like Rodan as they expected, but a baby godzillasaurus reminiscent of the baby Godzilla known as Minilla from late 60s installments. Godzilla comes to Tokyo, apparently looking for the baby, but is confronted by Mechagodzilla. With the giant robot, they're able to get a couple electrified harpoons into Godzilla and take him down... until the energy starts to feedback and fry its own systems. With the "Baby" in their care, the scientists are able to study its anatomy and glean some insight into what went wrong before, and how they can bestter go about killing Godzilla. This, however, raises some ethical questions, both about how they're using Baby and what it would mean to kill Godzilla. This all culminates in a massive brawl between Godzilla and Mechagodzilla, thank heavens.
The final battle takes place in the city, which is awesome. The miniatures include skyscrapers and a sports arena which really gives some nice scale to the giants, to say nothing of the mass destruction. Sure, there are still some nonsensical story beats, but nothing near as bad as the completely ridiculous story in Godzilla vs King Ghidorah. I'm finally coming to accept that that's just another part of what makes a Godzilla movie a Godzilla movie.
Universal proves that it can exploit and devalue their monster legacy as well as anyone with this 13 episode animated series. A group of teens (plus Frankenstein's monster) team up to combat poorly animated versions of classic Universal Monsters and to keep the copyright active.
A low-budget musical based on that song you hate, written by the guys who wrote the Garfield movies and featuring that girl from some show and Jimmie "J.J." "Kid Dynamite" Walker.
As my sweet Grandma Frances would have said, "You figure it out."
The Creeps - 1997
Written by Benjamin Carr
Directed by Charles Band
Featuring: Mini-Dracula, Mini-Frankenstein's Monster, Mini-Mummy & Mini-Wolf Man
A mad scientist gathers first editions books to bring their characters to life. I haven't seen the movie, so I'm not clear on how that's "science." Anyway, he succeeds, but only partially. The characters he brings to life are Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, the Mummy and the Wolf Man, but they all turn out to be "mini" versions of each. You might remember this movie from the fierce Oscar competition of which it was a part.
In a category oft defined by low-budget fan-serving schlock, Buffy slays 'em all. At first glance it might be a little unfair to include a seven season show that trotted out a new monster on an episode-by-episode basis, but for a group of misfit high schoolers who evolved into a hell-beasty death squad comprised of a demon-fuelled slayer, a witch, a werewolf, a former demon, a vampire with benefits, and... Xander, I'd say they more than achieved the many-monsters-one-box spirit. As for the other creatures of the night and sometimes late afternoon, BtVS included countless vampires (I'm actually pretty sure that someone has counted them -- oh internet) including such Universal Monster homages as a skeezy rendition of Dracula himself, a Frankensteinian footballer, a hot Gothy werewolf, a hot Incan mummy, a Creature from the high school swim team, an Invisible Girl as well as two different kinds of zombies, and so, so, SO much more. Buffy is a milestone in TV history. Anyone who loves monsters and/or series television should have seen it at least twice by now.
I'm not going to list Angel separately as that would be redundant. There was less tribute paid to classic monsters in the series, and less overall variety altogether. That's not a dig. Angel did a really strong job of developing its own mythology and maintaining characters over longer, sustained story lines.
Archie and the Riverdale gang get involved in all kinds of mysteries, often with a supernatural theme. Vampires come to town, Veronica turns into a 50 foot woman, there are ghosts, aliens, a "glob," ghosts, mummies, time travel and ghosts. It's a clean-cut good time for all, and actually sounds less embarrassing than most monster mashing cartoons we'd seen up until now. Actually, it sounds a little like a watered-down Buffy. It was produced by DiC, so make that very watered down. There was also a comic based on the cartoon based on the comic.
It doesn't get better. Not for a while, anyway. The classic monsters were presented in super merchandisey ways in the 80s. Godzilla took a vacation. Slashers were the I-scream flavor of the decade.
Hanna-Barbera goes back to the monster well... and takes a monster dump in it. The Drak Pack were Drak, Frankie and Howler, the grandsons of popular monsters who redeemed their respective family names as teenage superheroes battling other monsters, or something.
Looking at the adjacent image, I'm reminded how much creatures of the night thrive in the open desert.
Also, why is Frankenstein's grandson a Frankenstein? Getting an organ transplant doesn't give your offspring an organ transplant too. I shudder to think how he spawned offspring in the first place. And for another thing...
The Monster Club - 1981
Written by Edward & Valarie Abraham
Directed by Roy Ward Baker
Featuring: Vampires, a "Shadmock" (werewolf) and Ghouls
The Monster Club is an anthology of 3 short stories, each telling a separate tale of monstrosity, within an overarching framing narrative. Perhaps more importantly than the monsters are the legends of horror that it brings together -- Vincent Price, John Carradine & Donald Pleasance.
Scoob and the gang get invited to a Halloween party where the monsters are actual M-M-MONSTERS!
Paul Dini would go on to write and produce many episodes of Batman: The Animated Series & co-create Harley Quinn. So let that be a lesson to you recent college grads who think you're too good for humiliating entry level work.
Monster Squad - 1987
Written by Shane Black & Fred Dekker
Directed by Fred Dekker
Monsters by Stan Winston & Stan Winston Studio
Featuring: Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, the Wolf Man, the Mummy, Gill-man
The expectations for special effects nowadays have gotten so arch that sharp-eyed viewers can see the difference between a current big-budget blockbuster and one from just a few years ago. While it's true that Monster Squad uses pre-digital techniques, the monsters by Stan Winston still look amazing. In fact, they're the least dated thing about the movie, which suffers from a lot of homophobic slurs for what is essentially a kids' movie. Yes, Monster Squad falls into that screaming kid adventure category of 80s film making, although nowhere near the class of, say, E.T. or Goonies. For some reason, the monsters are converging on a generic American town for an evil ritual because the magic gem just happens to be there. And for no reason at all, it's a gang of screaming kids that stand against them. I also can't see the kids with guns flying too well in the civilized parts of this country today. Bad movie, but ohhh, Stan Winston doing his versions of the Universal Monsters... [drool].
Yummy Mummy - 1987
General Mills pays homage to the Universal Monsters once more with Yummy Mummy. I graduated from high school in '87 so I was sleeping late on Saturday mornings by that point. This is a new one on me too.
Waxwork - 1988
Written & Directed by Anthony Hickox
Featuring: Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies, a Mummy, the Marquis de Sade and more
Waxwork, I am happy to say, was a bright spot in the 80s that paid homage to the Universal monsters and then some. A new wax museum opens up on Any Upper Middle Class Street in Any White People Town, USA. The displays are all based on macabre scenes of evil. Visitors who cross the velvet rope (and there always seems to be a reason to do so) find themselves pulled into the world of the scenario. There, they are inevitably hunted and murdered, thus becoming a wax model in the scene themselves. For example, the first victim we see is one of a group of college kids invited to a private viewing. He drops his cigarette lighter into the werewolf display, so waits until no one is looking and steps in. Instantly he's transported to a dark and misty wood. He reasons that he must have been hypnotized (no one will bother reasoning after this) and as an old cabin is the only thing he sees, he goes to it. He's told to go away but enters anyway, meeting a man raving about the danger. With moonlight streaming through the windows, he transforms into a werewolf and attacks. A couple wolf hunters burst in and then decide to load the silver bullets. By the time the wolf is killed, it's too late, and the kid has been bitten. As he begins to transform himself, the surviving hunter plugs him with silver and he becomes a part of the museum's display. Many of the scenes are based on the classics, going so far as to turn black and white in the tribute to Night of the Living Dead. It turns out that there is an even greater evil at work, and it falls to two of the surviving college kids to end it.
It's not especially well directed or acted, and the effects are hit and miss. Nevertheless, there are some fabulously hammy performances from character actors like David Warner, John Rhys-Davies, Patrick Macnee, Jennifer Bassey and J Kenneth Campbell. The werewolf comes off as a rather furry mask, but the mummy is outstanding. Waxwork isn't really scary and you won't catch me calling it "great film making" or anything, but it is tremendous campy fun.
Made-for-TV movie in which "the gang" encounter a school for the daughters of classic monsters. "The gang" at this point in history consists of Scooby, Shaggy and... Scrappy Doo, so even if the little monstresses held some appeal as a concept, you'd still end up wanting it burned out of your brain.
Let's get a better look at that Stan Winston Gill-Man
Groovie Goolies was a Filmation cartoon, spun off from Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Remember when someone thought laugh tracks made sense for cartoons? Yeah, this was that era. The Groovie Goolies is the name of a far-out rock-and-roll band featuring Drac, Frankie and Wolfie, in a world inhabited by all sorts of monster caricatures. I blame "The Monster Mash" for this.
Santo & Blue Demon Against the Monsters - 1970
AKA Santo el Enmascarado de Plata y Blue Demon Contra los Monstruos
Written by Rafael Garcia Travesi & Jesus Sotomayor Martinez
Directed by Gilberto Martinez Solares
Featuring: "Franquenstain," werewolf, cyclops, zombies, vampires and mummy
Superstar luchadors, Santo and Blue Demon faced off with all kinds of monsters and foes across more than two dozen films, but this is the one with mas monstruos. It's sort of the Destroy All Monsters of Mexican wrestling films, which evidently means it wasn't as good as it should have been, but hey, look at all the monsters! And oh, did I mention there are musical numbers?
Amid an evident monster craze, in 1971, General Mills began selling monster-themed cereals in "chocolate" and "strawberry" flavors, each represented by a vampire and Frankenstein's monster, respectively. These animated commercials were probably more successful than all other monster cartoons combine at presenting crossover monster camaraderie. They certainly outlasted all the shows.
Dracula vs Frankenstein - 1971
Written by William Pugsley & Samuel M Sherman
Directed by Al Adamson
Featuring: Dracula with a 70s man-perm and a putty-faced Frankenstein's monster
[This film not viewed due to inaccessibility. I'm given to understand that I'm better off that way.]
Dracula contra Frankenstein - 1972
AKA Dracula Prisoner of Frankenstein
Written by Paul D'Ales & Jesus Franco
Directed by Jesus Franco
Featuring: Dracula, Frankenstein's monster and a wolf man
In the years 1970 to 1972, there were three different movies released under the title "Dracula vs Frankenstein" although they didn't all start out that way. Paul Naschy's 1970 Spanish/German/Italian Los Monstruos del Terror was renamed Assignment Terror for US theaters, but gained the "versus" title for its VHS release. Al Adamson's DvF came out in 1971 and was sometimes titled Teenage Dracula. Then Jesus Franco's Spanish/French Dracula contra Frankenstein reached America in 1972, often called Dracula: Prisoner of Frankenstein.
The three films carry a combined rating of 11 on IMDb, although I doubt one's enjoyment would have such an additive effect were they to be watched back-to-back.
Rankin/Bass produced this semi-prequel to Mad Monster Party. Rather than using stop motion models as the original had, this one-shot TV special was made with more traditional (and less expensive) cel animation. It was also bereft of the influence of Mad Magazine's Harvey Kurtzman.
Boo Berry - 1973
In 1973, General Mills added Boo Berry (a "blueberry" flavored cereal with a ghost mascot, what else did you expect?) to their successful line-up of monster cereals. I'm pretty surprised it was only 2 years later. To this day, I still think of Boo Berry as the "new" one.
Featuring: Godzilla, Anguirus, King Caesar & Mechagodzilla
Of all the Godzilla movies I've seen lately... this is one of them.
Director Jun Fukuda was responsible for the most notoriously campy Godzilla movies from the 70s, and while GvM is blissfully free of shrill children, it's definitely silly. Fukuda tries to do some "mod" film making with over-saturated colors and stylish framing. The monster sequences sometimes have great angles, and sometimes are shot like a ringside camera at a boxing match. The non-monster parts drag on way too long while making too little sense, which is a shame, because there's some potential in the story. In fact, a key element of the story -- the summoning of King Caesar -- is done much better in the Art Adams' Creature Features (see Part 8). Much of the rest of it involves another alien invasion story and a bunch of nitwitted people who are supposed to be smart running around and getting themselves captured. The effects are pretty lazy. The quality and quantity of miniature use is way down, and the monsters do most of their fighting in what amounts to a wrestling ring cluttered with vague shin-high scenery. King Caesar is as goofy as Mechagodzilla is cool. It's unsurprising that he wasn't used again until Final Wars. It's a shame, again, because he had potential but was poorly executed.
All that being said, Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla is a vastly important film for one single reason. It gave us the gift of "Mecha." Everything should have a 'Mecha" version. Try it out for yourself... MechaBatman (Iron Man; Check). MechaAliens (Ripley's power loader; Check). MechaBuffy (Check). MechaJohn McClane (RoboCop; Check). MechaNinjas (multiple; Check). MechaG.I.Joe (Transformers; Check). MechaFreddy Kreuger. MechaVincent Vega. MechaSmurfs. MechaBlack Swan.
I rest my case. Fruit Brute - 1975
Two years later, they added the werewolf-mascotted Fruit Brute. I am shocked to learn that it lasted 9 years.
This was essentially a Saturday Morning Cartoon, but live-action. It was developed by Stanley Ralph Ross who was behind the Batman, Wonder Woman and Monkees TV shows, so that probably gives you a pretty good idea what to expect. It starred Fred "Gopher" Grandy as a night watchman in a wax museum where the statues of Dracula, Frankenstein's monster and the Wolf Man came to life to fight monster-themed criminals. So that's what THAT's about. It was also about 13 episodes.
Looking at the 60s, there are two trends that become abundantly clear. American monster mash-ups were becoming alarmingly cornball, and Japan was on the rise.
The Godzilla series came out of the giant atomic creatures of the 50s and became King of Monsters. The ambitions of Toho studios far exceeded the low-budget drive-in camp coming from America, although it seems pretty evident to me that kaju wrangler Ishiro Honda's enthusiasm waned as the 60s wore on.
Hammer Films in England was reviving several of the classic monsters, but avoiding many of the choices that now looked particularly campy in retrospect -- including the crossover. Then again, they would have been hard pressed to make crossovers with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing playing three roles each.
The use of the name "Frankenstein" got abused pretty badly, and nothing good came of "The Monster Mash." Yeah I said it.
King Kong vs Godzilla - 1962
Written by Shin'ichi Sekizawa & team
Directed by Ishiro Honda
Featuring: a giant ape, a giant octopus and a giant monster
Godzilla is freed from ice and makes a b-line for Japan. Meanwhile, the Groucho-esque showman/president of a pharmaceutical company foots an expedition to Faro Island to harvest and exploit a giant berry with the promise of promoting health and longevity. The natives aren't too keen to bargain with the berries, since its juice is what keeps their mysterious jungle god appeased. The jungle god is, of course, King Kong, or at least the Toho version of him. First he fights with some forced-perspective footage of an octopus (which is actually pretty cool) and then he drinks his juice, which puts him to sleep long enough for the expeditionaries to strap him to a raft and tow him back to Japan. Kong and Godzilla fight, but Godzilla is too powerful despite Kong's greater intelligence, so he retreats. They both wail on Japan some more and Kong is knocked out again and hauled with balloons to face Godzilla again. Getting dosed up on electricity (because everyone suddenly knows that electricity makes him stronger), Kong is stronger and wiser and thus able to throw down kaiju-style.
Despite its shortcomings -- and there are plenty -- KKvG was much better than I expected. Sure, Kong looks more like Jim Belushi in a rented gorilla suit than the classic version we're used to and he's really just filling the role of Godzilla's Next Round, but the effects still impress for 1962. The models, I thought, were particularly well done. The live octopus crawling across a miniature jungle was a nice effect, although when it turned from a live, orange octopus to a gray model in Saran Wrap when King Kong picked it up took a little something away from the moment.I also enjoyed some of the subtext about commercialism, exploitation and industry. I'm not saying it was deep, but it's still relevant, and that says more bad things about us than it does a silly movie.
Monster Mash - 1962
by Bobby "Boris" Pickett & the Crypt-Kickers
I'm not a fan of the song (or indeed most novelty songs), but I can't deny that it played a role in our continued impression of classic monsters hanging out together.
Mothra vs Godzilla - 1964
Written by Shin'ichi Sekizawa
Directed by Ishiro Honda
Featuring: Godzilla, a flying Mothra, 2 caterpillar Mothras
While Mothra is now an ensconced part of the Godzilla universe, there was in fact a Mothra solo movie in 1961, making their meeting here a genuine crossover. This is almost certainly my favorite of all the old-school Godzilla films, although I now realize that it must have only been 10-12 years old when I first saw it on TV as a kid. I never forgot the tiny twin fairies from Mothra's home island, and I still find them completely charming. Despite Mothra's lack of expression and ineffectiveness in fights (while in moth form), it's really the most consistently good monster in the Godzilla pantheon. MvG also has one of the least convoluted stories ever, and the non-monster scenes don't annoy me the way so many of the others do. I tend to feel that Godzilla is at its best when it has a message about relevant issues, and MvG has several; addressing exploitative capitalism, corruption, native rights, the environment and of course nuclear threats. The effects are pretty cheesy in places and the Godzilla suit looks floppy and silly, but it succeeds on passion (where Destroy All Monsters stumbles).
Like Mothra vs Godzilla, this film folds another Toho giant monster with a solo debut into the greater Godzilla cast. In this case, it's the pterodacular Rodan joining the proceedings along with the returning Mothra, and one of Godzilla's greatest rivals, Ghidorah making its debut. And as you might guess, it's kind of a mess!
In addition to all the monster juggling, it also throws a convoluted story in on the human side of things. First of all, there's a meteor shower with a large strike occurring on the far side of some mountains, so a team of scientists is dispatched to investigate that. They discover a strange meteor that is magnetic at times, super-heated at others, and slowly growing. Then there's a police detective sent to meet a foreign princess on a security detail. She comes from some country with outfits that combine style elements of Arabian sultans with 17th century frilly collars. There's a plot to blow up her plane, but when she hears a voice in her head, she jumps out of the plane just before it explodes. The police detective's sister is a reporter who's friends with one of the mountaineering scientists, and she's also investigating the mysterious new prophetess in town who claims to be a martian. But wait, there's more! The twin fairies from Mothra's island are in town for a TV appearance on the Japanese equivalent of You Asked For It. The detective figures out that the prophetess from Mars is actually the believed-dead princess and tries to find her. She shows up when the Double-Moth Twins are about to board a ship back home with warnings of its doomed fate, so they decide to follow her. Then Godzilla just shows up and destroys the ship. About the same time, Rodan bursts out of a volcanic crater, so he and Godzilla decide to fight, 'cause that's what you do. Meanwhile, back in the mountains, the meteor goes nuts and cracks open, releasing a golden three-headed monster into the sky. Fortunately there's a prophetic Martian to tell us that its name is Ghidorah, and it was responsible for wiping out all life on Mars. Speaking of princess/prophetess Martian, she's pursued by a team of goons from her homeland, and we spend a lot of the movie distracted with that.
With all this mayhem loosed upon Japan at once, the pressure is on the government to do something, so naturally they turn to the twin fairies, who eventually agree to summon Mothra, still in caterpillar form, to come and reason with Godzilla and Rodan that they should all team up on Ghidorah. This leads to a particularly ridiculous scene where the three monsters discuss the situation. Coming so soon after Mothra vs Gozilla, I had higher hopes for this installment but they really seemed to make some different choices, which is odd since it's exactly the same creative team. MvG delivered a much cleaner, more solid story, while this one tried to cram so much in that none of the parts were as satisfying, and ended up either too easily solved, or just left dangling.
The Munsters - 1964-1966
Developed by Allan Burns & Chris Hayward
Featuring: a vampire, a Frankenstein's monster, a vampiress, a wolf boy and a teenage girl
The Munsters ran concurrent with the similarly themed Addams Family, although the Addams Family doesn't qualify as a monster mash-up because they were really just weird humans, whereas the Munsters were based on Universal Monster archetypes. Consequently, the Munsters were a bit more over-the-top, which was just fine and dandy in the 60s, and it had the slightly better ratings of the two. That didn't last for long, however, when the full color Batman series debuted against the black-and-white Munsters, and it was kaput. It's funny how many 2 and 3 season shows from the 60s would go on to become "classics" in syndication.
Looking at the way things have developed, I can't help but see The Munsters as a gateway to all the really dumb monster mash-ups for kids that would come after. And yet, I am also obligated to acknowledge they planted the seeds of monster love in dumb little me.
Featuring: a giant Frankenstein's monster and Baragon
Nazis raid a science lab during WWII, claiming a locked trunk and shipping it to the Pacific for experimentation. The trunk, we soon learn, contains Frankenstein's heart (the heart of the monster, anyway), which, it is said, cannot die. The heart is believed lost after the atomic bomb strike on Hiroshima. 20 years later, a feral boy stalks the outskirts of the rebuilt city. When scientists start experimenting on him, they unleash the full regenerative properties of the heart, discovering not only that he is Frankenstein, regrown from the heart, but that he is capable of radical growth. Soon, he's big enough to tromp around Toho Studio's miniature sets.
Meanwhile, the prehistoric "Baragonasaur" Baragon (a Godzilla rival/comrade) surfaces from beneath the earth where it has survived for millions of years. Each cause havoc in their own way, but Frankenstein doesn't really mean it. He's just hungry and misunderstood. Ultimately, they have to throw down while humans flee their swath of destruction.
This movie had every excuse to suck. And yet... it did not suck. Most of the film is focused on the Frankenstein part of the story, and it actually makes an effort to pay homage to the story of the misunderstood monster. Barugon mostly seems to be there for him to fight, which is fine; we've heard pretty much every variation possible to explain the rising of giant lizard monsters from dozens of kaiju movies. Frankenstein also makes a more credible giant hero than, say, in the 70s when Godzilla was supposed to be good. Also good; we get plenty of effects scenes, and they're really rather well done. Some of the "miniatures" are massive, really giving Frankenstein a credible environment to inhabit. He occupies urban and forest settings, and both work very well to demonstrate a sense of scale. The forests are lush with large, realistic trees, so he doesn't just tromp around knocking them over, but thrashes through them and uproots them as weapons. Sure, it's super corny, but that's a given here. As far as giant monster movies go -- especially for a second stringer of its era -- it really... grows beyond expectations.
Featuring: an android, aliens and an alien monster
When all the women (except the princess) on an alien world die, thanks to ATOMIC WAR, they send a ship to Earth to replenish their stock. As they approach Earth, they shoot down a space capsule containing an android named Frank. The android is disfigured and "brain" damaged, sending it on a rampage in Puerto Rico, and earning it the nickname "Frankenstein." Meanwhile, the aliens get to work kidnapping bikini babes. Then "Frankenstein" fights with the aliens' pet monster.
With a premise like that, it's hard to see how it could be considered among the worst movies ever made. Sadly, I can neither confirm nor deny this position, as I have not had an opportunity to view it. I can't imagine why I haven't made it a higher priority.
An anthology using a tarot reading to frame assorted tales of terror. It also brings together longtime Hammer Horror comrades Christopher Lee & Peter Cushing with horror stalwart of the 70s, Donald Sutherland.
Featuring: TWO giant Frankenstein's Monsters and a giant octopus
War of the Gargantuas is a sequel to Frankenstein Conquers the World, although the "F" word is never used. It refers back to the original, but the monsters are now known exclusively as "gargantuas," natch.
It opens with a giant octopus attacking a fishing boat, and then a giant hairy humanoid beast attacks the octopus. Once he's disposed of the octopus, then he too attacks the fishing boat, leaving one traumatized survivor with a hard-to-believe tale. Following that mysterious attack, the beast is seen closer and closer to shore. After the events in the previous film, the gargantua-formerly-known-as-Frankenstein is handed the blame, although the scientists who encountered him in the past remain skeptical. Eventually he reaches the shore, causing wanton destruction on cities and towns, gulping down humans when he manages to catch one. The military reacts the way militaries do, developing plans to kill the monster. Meanwhile, there are also sightings of the beast in the mountains, far removed from the coastline. How could he cover so much ground so quickly, and unseen?
The military lures the shaggy green beast into a trap, hitting it hard with lasers, lightning guns and an electrified stretch of river. He seems near death when, from around the mountain comes a second shaggy monster to rescue him and help him limp away. This new one is brown, as it turns out that he is the gentle but misunderstood "Frankenstein" we once knew. How are there two? Why are they different? Can the gentle giant be saved from the scorched earth policies of the military? Why is Russ Tamblyn dubbing his own dialogue when he shot his parts in English in the first place? Only some of these questions ever get answers, and none of them satisfactorily. But that's okay, because there's plenty of giant combat.
The gargantuas are not as large to scale as the monsters in Godzilla movies. At first you'd think that bigger would be better with giant monsters, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Shorter monsters means larger miniatures. The forests are up around their armpits here, rather than simply trod underfoot. They battle down the canyons of Tokyo, crashing into buildings that reveal individual floors within. Godzilla, particularly moving into the 70s, battles in much emptier arenas, squashing buildings like shoeboxes and trees like cotton candy loosely cluttered around his shins. As in FCtW, Gargantuas makes extraordinary use of its miniatures. Though seen as an also-ran to the Godzilla series, both films make exemplary contributions to the kaiju oeuvre.
Mad Monster Party - 1967
Written by Harvey Kurtzman & Len Korobkin
Directed by Jules Bass
Featuring: Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, the Monster's mate, Gill-man, Werewolf, Mr. Hyde, the Invisible Man, the Mummy, Zombies & more
This is a stop-motion animated movie for television from the people that brought us Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and the like. While Rankin/Bass' Christmas productions continue to skate by on nostalgia, schmaltz and holiday goodwill, Mad Monster Party cannot do quite the same.
The story is that Dr. Frankenstein (voiced by Boris Karloff) has invited all the monsters (and one human) to his island for a party to show off his latest experiment (a massively destructive explosive) and to name his heir once he steps down from his role as leader of the monsters. The heir-apparent is his nephew Felix, a clumsy, wheezy human with a Jimmy Stewart impression for a voice. The mad doctor's inappropriately-hot-for-a-kids'-show assistant, Francesca, plots with Dracula to kill off Felix, making her the most likely heir. This backfires on her when Dracula double crosses her, and she conveniently (and literally) falls for Felix. Then there's a chase, a party crasher, a sacrifice and and explosion. The end, thank heavens.
Mostly... it's just disappointing. The jokes are not funny AT ALL, and that's not even taking into account the sexism. Oh, and there are songs -- painful songs. It's clear that the movie just has not aged well, but doesn't help that it aimed low to start with. Like our lower-aiming animation today (Shrek, Hotel Transylvania), it doesn't attempt a good story well told with universal themes and naturally occurring humor. Rather, it assumes that its target audience of children are stupid, and treats them thus. Further, it decides that any adults in earshot can be bought off easily with stale jokes based on pop culture. These are not things that become richer like wine over the years. They spoil or desiccate. Gutless jokes dry out like a mummy's husk. Bloodless songs crumble like a vampire in the sun. Well, except in this movie where Dracula constantly wanders around in daylight. In fact, the monsters are very rarely true to type except in the most token ways possible -- usually when it's convenient. With Mad Magazine impresario Harvey Kurtzman listed as a writer, I had some hope, but this was that other side of Mad, where the jokes are supposed to work because they've already repeated them to death.
There is a part that's not bad, and that's the art direction. Many of the characters are designed by Jack Davis, legendary illustrator for Mad and EC's horror comics. Many of them are pretty cool, and I'd buy a set of toys based on them, even though I cannot count myself as a fan of the movie. The sets are often stylish and full of details. I'd buy the Frankenstein's Lab play set in which to pose the toys. Unfortunately, the animation is pretty low quality; maybe even jerkier than the Rankin/Bass Christmas specials.
Sure, there are bound to be people who still get nostalgic for Mad Monster Party, but then, there are still people who get nostalgic for slavery, so that tells you what nostalgia is worth.
Destroy All Monsters! - 1968
Written by Ishiro Honda & Takeshi Kimura
Directed by Ishiro Honda
It's the far distant future year of 1999, so naturally there's a base on the moon. Many of the giant monsters have been rounded up and sent to live on the "Monsterland" island. That is, until an alien force in spangly outfits frees the monsters, and using mind-control devices, turns them loose on the world's major cities. All of this is designed not only to weaken Earth's defenses, but to distract from their establishment of a secret base in Mt Fuji. Or something. Who cares? That's the part with the humans, and we're here to see monsters. Sadly, for a movie so jam-packed with monsters, we don't get to spend as much time with them as it seems like we ought to. There's the first scene with the monsters frolicking around their island. Then the shots of them attacking cities, which is pretty cool albeit brief. Then a bunch of people scenes happen.
FINALLY we get the big throw-down between King Ghidorah, a space monster doing the space invaders' bidding and everyone else. They go straight hate-crime on his ass, knocking the side off a mountain and revealing the secret alien base in the process. As Godzilla's son Minilla dances triumphantly atop the defeated foe, big poppa blasts and stomps his way into the base. There's some rocketship scenes, but they're remarkably slow and there's that issue with the exhaust smoke flowing upward like a road flare on a wire. Once again, the miniature work is excellent, although we barely get any urban settings this time out. Even being "miniature" the mountain with the alien base is taller than Godzilla, so it had to have been at least 10 to 12 feet tall in the studio. In addition to the paucity of kaiju scenes, much of the King Ghidorah battle felt a little lazy to me. The attacks were fairly pedestrian, and the camera did little to emphasize the scale of things. We're treated to a few shots over Godzilla's shoulder, which just doesn't seem like an angle we should ever see -- certainly without a helicopter. I'm sure I'll get kicked out of the Monster Squad for this, but I felt like King Kong vs. Godzilla had a much better sense of scale. For the biggest giant monster movie of its time, it just didn't feel that, well, big.
Wacky Races was a Hanna-Barbera cartoon in which a variety of racing teams competed to dubbed the "World's Wackiest Racer." One of those teams was the Gruesome Twosome; Big Gruesome being a lumbering Frankensteinian monster, and Little Gruesome being a small purple vampire. They drove car #2, the Creepy Coupe; a cross between a hearse and a haunted house. They ever-scheming duo kept various secret weapons in the belfry of their car, including a dragon.
If there's anything better than a monster, it's more monsters, right?
Yeah, you'd think so, wouldn't you? Well, it's a good thing you're pretty.
Big monster dust-ups are some of the best-worst things in film history. The idea is almost always thrilling, but sadly the execution of the idea is frequently disappointing, if not outright craptacular. They seem to be at their best when they're part of a fresh universe created from whole cloth, rather than a catch-all for recycled and/or public domain properties. Since they're so often thrown together as a quick and easy cash-in, they bear all the loving craftsmanship that typically accompanies the term "quick and easy cash-in."
And yet... and yet there is just something undeniably exciting about the things that go bump in the dark bumping into each other. How will it change their dynamic? Do multiple monsters mean more monster screen-time? Who would win in a fight?
I don't mind telling you; my criteria here is kind of vague. At first I was just looking at the Universal Monster crossovers, or anything that co-opted the public domain origins of those characters. Universal Pictures had big, big hits with the now classic Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolf Man, but also the Creature from the Black Lagoon, the Invisible Man, Dr Jekyl & Mr Hyde, Phantom of the Opera, the Mummy, This Island Earth and of course all manner of sequels and other horror movies. Other filmmakers grew up with these movies running on TV, and would later pay tribute to them and/or exploit them in their own work. While I don't want to just throw in everything that has more than one kind of monster in it, I do want the ones that feel like they are, for better or worse, tapping into that lineage.
I also have many of Godzilla's bigger throw-downs. Some of them do, in fact, cross over with other characters, and the series has had such longevity in its own right that they do kind of feed on that same thrill of recurrence and magnification. I think the experience of reading this article will convey to you the continuity of excitement that comes from having a house full of monsters.
The now legendary 1931 Frankenstein had spawned three sequels including the equally legendary Bride of Frankenstein. 1941's The Wolf Man had also been a big hit for Universal, and its screenwriter jokingly pitched the producer the idea of bringing them together, which almost backfired on him, and where would we be now?
The film really belongs to Lon Chaney's Wolf Man far more than it does Frankenstein. As a fairly direct sequel, it opens with Lawrence Talbot (Chaney) escaping from his crypt and going on the road to find relief from his curse. The Wolf Man has always been kind of the runner-up to Dracula and Frankenstein, but he's really the most interesting character of the three. Frankenstein's monster is misunderstood, and Dracula is just plain bad, but Talbot is tormented, and it gives him the strongest motivations of the lot. Talbot seeks out the old gypsy woman who understands his condition, and together they journey to find the brilliant scientist who has been doing earth-shattering work in the subject of life and death; Dr. Frankenstein. Once they get to Frankenstein's village, however, they discover that he has been killed... and stir up the fear and loathing of the villagers. Searching the ruins of Castle Frankenstein for clues about the late doctor's work, he discovers the monster frozen in ice. Once thawed, the monster guides him to Dr. Frankenstein's hidden cache of notes, but his personal diary is still missing, which leads Talbot to enlist the aid of his heir, the lovely Baroness Elsa Frankenstein in the hopes that she still has his diary.
The film works pretty well while it maintains its focus on Talbot/the Wolf Man. The Frankenstein parts are not as good. Due to the nature of the character, the monster just isn't that strong of a protagonist. It's one thing when he's misunderstood, but he doesn't really have a stake in things here and his motivation suffers. What's more, the character has become more convoluted the further he's gotten from his origins. And frankly, the make-up is lazy and Bela Lugosi plays him far more campy than Karloff did in the first couple films. It's by no means a great film, but it has some good parts in it, and it planted a seed of something that would grow and mutate in ways that its creators never could have imagined.
It stars Bela Lugosi as a vampire who is not Dracula, but Armand Tesla. He went and got himself staked in 1918, but the German bombing of England during WWII knocked the stake out of his heart and he reconstituted to seek vengeance upon the people he was trying to kill in the first place. Jerk. What makes this a Monster Mash-Up is that his faithful manservant is a mild-mannered werewolf.
I truly wish I could tell you more, but I have, as yet, been unable to see the movie.
Featuring: The Wolf Man, Dracula & Frankenstein's Monster
A direct sequel to Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man, House of Frankenstein has precious little Frankenstein in it, but it does bring a bit of Dracula into the equation. No, the Wolf Man is the lead monster again, although the movie truly belongs to Dr. Niemann (Boris Karloff), a criminal scientist obsessed with continuing Frankenstein's work. Having escaped from prison, he and fellow inmate/hunchbacked sidekick "friend Daniel" go undercover in the assumed identity of a -- ahem -- recently deceased sideshow operator offering a cabinet of terrors. It just so happens that his skeleton of Dracula actually IS the skeleton of Dracula, and once Niemann removes the stake from its ribs, the vampire reconstitutes in a jiffy (although as a gray haired and mustachioed John Carradine rather than Bela Lugosi, who somehow got scooped out of TWO roles he'd played in this film). Dracula helps Niemann settle a few old scores, then promptly gets himself dusted by the rising sun.
Niemann and Daniel, meanwhile, investigate the ruins of Castle Frankenstein, discovering both the Monster and the Wolf Man frozen in the subterranean ice cavern. Talbot springs back to shape right away and gets back to a bust schedule of brooding. This is, of course, like an aphrodisiac to the gypsy dancing girl upon whom Daniel's eye had fallen. The Monster, however, remains unconscious and in poor condition. Talbot leads Niemann to Frankenstein's diary, and they all set off for Niemann's castle to get down on some mad science. The Monster remains unconscious until the dramatic climax, but everyone else is in conflict, each with their incompatible agendas, and let us not forget the villagers. Villagers always have a burr up their butt about something, don't they?
House of Frankenstein keeps things going and ramps them up from Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man. The performances are stronger, thanks largely to Karloff's Niemann, J. Carrol Naish as Daniel and the bubbly gypsy girl Ilonka played by Elena Verdugo. There's a new actor & makeup job for the Monster, which helps too. Carradine's Dracula is a disappointment, however, although we don't get much of him. I suspect that will change in House of Dracula, but then again, judging from the distribution of screen time in House of Frankenstein, he could just appear on a postage stamp licked by the Wolf Man.
House of Dracula - 1945
Written by Edward T. Lowe Jr.
Directed by Erle C. Kenton
Featuring: The Wolf Man, Dracula and a glimpse of Frankenstein's Monster
The third and final Universal monster crossover vamps (no pun intended) on the same component parts that made up the first two. The central character is, once again, really the scientist that ties them all together. Dr. Edelmann is initially contacted by Dracula, who for reasons not explained, managed to get himself reconstituted in the years since the events in House of Frankenstein. Dracula claims to wish to be freed from his curse, although it isn't really clear whether this is his true purpose, of if he's merely trying to get over with Edelmann's buxom blonde nurse. Edelmann tells him that he'll need some time to prepare the treatment, so Dracula disappears until the middle of the movie. Meanwhile, Lawrence "Wolf Man" Talbot shows up, also in inexplicably good health and looking for a cure. Unwilling to face another full moon as the wolf, Talbot throws himself into the ocean, but washes into a cave in the cliff face. When Edelmann goes down to find him, they discover a mud flow carrying the skeleton of House of Frankenstein's Dr. Niemann and the unconscious Monster. So HIS whereabouts are explained, but it's a pretty dopey and unlikely scenario. Edelmann is less unhinged and obsessed than the previous films' doctors, but even he feels the strong temptation to revive Frankenstein's creation.
Dracula drops by around that time to seduce the nurse and Edelmann decides he'd better up the dosage, which for some reason involves a transfusion of his own blood... which has to be direct... and he has to be unconscious for it. Go fig. During the transfusion, Dracula wakes up and reverses the flow, then leaves. Edelmann finds Dracula's coffin and opens it to sunlight, and that's the last of THAT plot thread. Unfortunately, the transfusion begins to transform Edelmann into a vampire and his decision-making skills take a nosedive.
Frankenstein's Monster isn't revived until literally the last 2 minutes of the film. Talbot may have gotten his happy ending. This time out, the hunchback is Edelmann's cute brunette nurse. And the creepiest critter of the lot is a sallow faced villager. Given that House of Dracula is a fairly nonsensical remix of the same elements from the first two, it's probably just as well that Universal didn't build any more Houses. They were out of ideas.
Featuring: Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, the Wolf Man & the Invisible Man
The first of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello's "Meet" movies is also their most jam-packed. It features Bela Lugosi as Dracula, Lon Chaney as the Wolf Man, and Glenn Strange as Frankenstein's Monster. Lugosi and Chaney, of course, originated those roles, and Strange played the Monster in both of the "House" movies. Obviously, it's a pretty silly movie concerning a couple of schlubby baggage handlers who just happen to receive shipment of Dracula's coffin and Frankenstein's corpse, but I'll let you in on a little secret -- it's at least as good as the straight-faced trio of crossovers that preceded it. In fact, depending on what you value in the films, I could easily say that it's much better. The story is cornball, but so were all the others, and A&C do it with so much humor that less time is wasted on overwrought drama. Moreover, the monsters have WAY more screen time than in any of the other monster mash-ups. Heck, Frankenstein gets more screen time here than he did in all three of the other crossovers combined. You really can't overstate value of having Bela back as Dracula either. John Carradine was... okay, but Bela IS Dracula and vice versa. When he started putting the hypnotic whammy on Costello, I totally geeked out. Most of the comedy holds up pretty well, although that depends on the how willing the viewer is to allow it to exist within its own context. Anyone who complains about Abbot & Costello but admits to laughing at Scary Movie is someone to remove from your friend list. The only downside to A&CmF is that it created the template for the classic monsters in goofy comedy and wanna-comedy. The madcap mayhem and chases toward the end really brought Scooby-Doo to mind, and that just shouldn't happen.
Horror and Sci-Fi monster movies really went through a lot of changes in the 1950s. The classic monsters became passe, and the whole enterprise became a much lower budget, lower respectability business. Giant radioactive creatures were on the rise, so at first I didn't have anything to represent monster mash-ups in the 50s, but these two just barely squeak through. Toward the later 50s, England's Hammer Films studio took up the cause of the classic creatures, but with a seriousness that eschewed the camp of crossovers.
Featuring: a teenage werewolf & a teenage Frankenstein's monster
I had heard of I Was a Teenage Werewolf, (largely because it starred Michael Landon and was a Trivial Pursuit question) but I didn't realize that the studio, American International Pictures, had also released I Was a Teenage Frankenstein the same year, much less that the both had a sequel in How to Make a Monster, the following year.
The story revolves around a make-up artist for "American International Studios" who discovers that he's being phased out when the studio he helped to enrich with his monsters has decided to shift their focus to musicals. He uses his monstrous creations and the power of hypnosis to exact his revenge. Sounds pretty "meta" if you ask me.
Featuring: grave-robbing aliens, Vampire Girl and ghouls (zombies)
Notorious and uproarious, the badness is most glorious! Ed Wood's "masterpiece" has been dubbed "the Worst Movie Ever Made." It's not, but not for lack of trying. Wood filled a box with his passions, shook it up, and Plan 9 is what came out.
The story isn't completely nonsensical, nor is it completely stupid, but between the two of them, they pretty much keep things covered. Aliens come to Earth. The dead rise. There are some pretty (unintentionally) hilarious scenes, but they don't necessarily add up in any context. Wood managed to wedge in a number of future cult figures, or perhaps they became cult figures for having been in Plan 9. TV mentalist Criswell delivers the opening monologue. Elvira's role model Vampira appears as a "Vampire Girl" despite no real connection to vampires in the film. Bela Lugosi gets one last posthumous credit via footage that Wood shot with vague intentions and worked into Plan 9. His character is played in other scenes by an actor holding his cape over his face. And then there's Swedish wrestler Tor Johnson... I don't have anything to say about that. He's just there.
It's been a long time since I saw Plan 9 itself. I've mostly recovered. I'm far more willing to watch Tim Burton's Ed Wood. He captures the experience so well that they blur together in places. You really get all you need that way, without the impatient discomfort of watching Plan 9 itself.
